Academic Ranting

Just imagine, you wake up in the morning, it’s still pretty dark outside. Your limbs are sore, you get that weird pulsing in your head. You don’t want to get up. You didn’t want to wake up in the first place, but the relentless alarm killed you sleep. At first, you try to recall the previous day. Were you hit by something heavy? Maybe you had one drink too many? Why are you so tired after just waking up? Then it gets to you, the sudden realization… You’re a student!

5By the way, the alarm is still on, better turn it off. Reaching for the phone is a burden, but you have to do it. You check the time… FUCK! You’re late! You could swear you set the damn thing to go off at 9, but it’s almost 10. Oh right, you hit snooze three times, that’s a great start. You bolt out from the comfort of your bed to meet your destiny, hard work that is… You pull on some trousers and storm out to uni. You want your morning coffee? Not a chance! You can grab an energy drink from the vending machine in the hall. You put in a fiver, press the key and… nothing happens. FUCK! Your fiver is gone, so is your boost of energy. Better hurry, remember you’re late. You finally get to class, twenty minutes late. “Did you at least bring your essay?” FUCK! “God, you’re lazy…”. And this is just the beginning…

You have two other classes that day, and you were expected to prepare something for them as well. “You didn’t do to the online quiz?! God, you’re lazy…”. You didn’t do it because it was uploaded yesterday evening, and you got home at midnight, exhausted from work. But it’s always your fault! It’s always MY fault! It’s ME who’s writing it! Why don’t I use ‘I’? Oh right, I’m too used to academic writing. Thank god I used contractions, they’re what’s left of my humanity. The funny thing about academic writing… I spend so much time preparing samples, doing quizzes and exercises that I don’t have time to write my MA! That’s where I’m supposed to use it! Oh well… at least the classes are over. FUCK! I’m late for work! I storm out of uni, hop on a tram, it’s bloated but it’s moving. I’ll get to work, eventually…

Łukasz K

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