Imagine you are a Cinderella, but there is no fairy Godmother to pay for your shoe.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails” (Corinthians 13:4-8). But is this really true?
Every girl dreams about her wedding day, and when she finally becomes a woman, she wants everything to be perfect and sewn up. However, reality is not a fairy tale and you should be prepared that some obstacles may appear, in order not to hit the roof during your own wedding. Here are some tips which will help you understand why you will never enjoy your own wedding reception, and why you should not bother about it.
- They say that love is enduring and patiently preserves everything. Obviously, those who say so have never had to deal with new parents-in-law who derive pleasure from trying your patience. They are dissatisfied with the menu, they criticise the length of your dress and finally during the speech they gently suggest that they really liked their son’s last girlfriend.
The wedding day is far from a patient one. You should be prepared that the whole world will be against you and don’t get too gloomy about it. The rain may be falling, the driver may be late and the cream of your wedding cake may turn sour, you should forever keep in mind why you are doing this and what is the most important thing for you. As a last resort, looking at your new wedding pair of shoes may also help.
Anna from Poznań says: “My parents-in-law are a real pain in the neck, but what can you do about it? I think If there was any solution, somebody would have found it years ago. There is no point in tilting at windmills, you’d better tolerate them as they are.”
- Love does not envy? Imagine that your best friend’s dress is more impressive than yours . Everyone is whispering and comparing your looks and it is she who plays the first fiddle. You need to take care of your guests’ comfort and you do not have time to primp your make-up. Moreover, you look tired and you have black rings round your eyes as you haven’t slept for a week before the wedding day.
You need to remember that there will always be some well-wishers ready to grumble behind your back. You can’t please everyone, and when it comes to pleasing yourself, there will always be somebody who had a better wedding band, more sausages on the table or a bigger limousine. Kasia, 32, recounts for us how she stained her wedding dress with borsch during the party: “I went furious, I yelled at my sister who tried to help me, it spoiled all the fun for me, and now I know it was stupid, I should have enjoyed the evening instead of worrying about such trivialities”.
- Love does not boast, at least some say so. But why not boast? You keep your nose to the grindstone to prepare everything, buy the freshest flowers, learn how to dance to astonish everyone with your first dance, import the softest linen tablecloth you could find and most importantly – you wear really high heels for the whole evening.
If you’ve spent the whole year or two planning the whole thing, don’t be too shy to be proud of it. People will judge it anyway so why not show them the good points.
- Obviously it is self-seeking! It is the most important day of YOUR life (and eventually your husband’s).
Do not listen to those who tell you that you need to satisfy everyone except yourself. It is your party and you should take part in it and have fun. Obviously binge drinking is not recommended, but one or two drinks for encouragement won’t do you harm.
“I set myself a goal – to have a great time during my own wedding, and you really can do that, just stop thinking of all those irritating little things you have no influence on and party” – says Alice, who got married in 2013.
- Maybe love does not keep records of wrong, but your video recording certainly will do. Be sure that instead of beautiful pictures of you and your new husband, most of the shots will present you dancing with the oldest guy in the hall or drunk aunt giving a speech.
Instead of requiring your money back wait a year.. or five, from such a perspective you may even consider it as funny and worth memorising.
- Love will fail you, and you may learn it sooner than you think. Your newly possessed husband will meet his old buddies from school or whereabouts. According to the Polish tradition, he will need to have a drink or four with each and every one of them. Quickly you will have to cope with all your responsibilities all alone, without even a partner to dance with.
The best solution to such situation is to organise a two-day party and ask your partner to wait with alcohol until the next day. Obviously it is his time to party as well and he should have an opportunity to catch up with old friends. You can only blame the tradition.
- Some even say that love doesn’t cost a thing. Probably they have never received a bill for a wedding reception. Wedding expenses are like bottomless pits, and even if you have a business plan, there will always be something that pops out of the blue and costs an additional fortune. What is more, you need to keep in mind that if something has the word ‘wedding’ in its name it will be three times more expensive as the same thing without such a tag.
To save some money try to look for things which are not strictly dedicated to weddings, they are noticeably cheaper. Additionally, try to plan everything in advance. Ordering things none too soon may lower the costs to a large degree. A useful tip is also to look for things far from the big cities, as shops’ margins are higher there. Sara, a student from Poznan says “ I bought my wedding dress in Turek, which is not so far away from Poznan, and it was 1500 PLN cheaper there. The same dress!”
After taking all those points in consideration no one would ever organise a wedding reception, and why not when it is such a beautiful celebration, deeply rooted in tradition, especially in Poland. Simply, do not take every problem so seriously, try to remember why you want all of this and who is the most important for you. Look at your husband to be, love is enduring and it will cope with such trivial things as a wedding reception. And finally, do record it, when the kids appear you will laugh at how seriously you treated all those trivial things.